Internal Family Systems Therapy in Burnaby BC
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a powerful and innovative approach that has gained significant recognition over the past three decades. Developed by psychologist Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, IFS offers a unique framework for understanding the mind and healing psychological wounds. This comprehensive model views the mind as naturally multiple, containing various "parts" or sub-personalities, and offers a clear path toward integration and wholeness.
The Core Concepts of IFS
1. The Multiplicity of the Mind
The fundamental premise of IFS is that the mind is naturally divided into distinct sub-personalities or "parts." These parts form an internal family or system, much like members of a family interact with one another. Dr. Schwartz discovered this multiplicity while working with clients with eating disorders, noticing that they often described different aspects of themselves in conflict—one part wanting to restrict food, another wanting to binge, and yet another feeling shame about these behaviours.
Unlike disorders like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), where parts are dissociated from each other, IFS suggests that multiplicity is normal and healthy when properly integrated. Each of us has different parts that hold different roles, perspectives, feelings, and beliefs.
The Three Types of Parts
In the IFS model, there are three types of parts:
1. Exiles
Exiles are vulnerable, wounded parts that carry painful emotions and memories, often from childhood. These parts hold our trauma, fear, shame, sadness, and loneliness. Because the pain they carry can be overwhelming, they are often suppressed or "exiled" from conscious awareness by other parts of the system.
For example, a person who experienced rejection in childhood may have an exiled part that holds the feelings of not being good enough.
2. Managers
Managers are proactive, protective parts that work to keep the system functioning and prevent exiles from flooding consciousness with painful emotions. They maintain control through various means such as:
Perfectionism
People-pleasing
Hypervigilance
Constant planning or analyzing
Criticism (of self or others)
Caretaking others while neglecting the self
A manager might show up as an inner critic that says, "You must be perfect to be accepted," or as a workaholic part that keeps you busy to avoid painful feelings.
3. Firefighters
When exiles break through managers' protective barriers and begin to overwhelm the system with emotion, firefighters emerge as emergency responders. They work to extinguish emotional pain quickly through more impulsive, distracting, or numbing activities such as:
Substance use
Binge eating
Excessive shopping
Anger outbursts
Dissociation
Excessive screen time or gaming
These parts aren't inherently destructive—they're desperately trying to protect the person from overwhelming pain, albeit through potentially harmful means.
2. Self and the Role of Self
IFS theory also proposes that everyone has a central "Self," a core essence that is calm, compassionate, and wise. The Self is considered the leader of the internal system and is naturally capable of healing, understanding, and guiding the parts. The goal of IFS therapy is to help individuals connect with their Self and enable it to lead the parts in a more balanced and compassionate way.
The Self is not the same as the ego or personality; it is the true essence of a person, unaffected by external influences and connected to one's highest potential for healing and growth. When the Self is present, it can mediate between the parts and restore harmony within the system.
IFS posits that the Self is never damaged and has the natural capacity to lead the internal system harmoniously when it's not being overwhelmed by protectors. The goal of IFS therapy is to help people access this Self-energy and, from that centred place, heal and integrate their parts.
3. Parts Have Positive Intentions
One of the most transformative aspects of IFS is the belief that every part, even those that may seem destructive or harmful, has a positive intention. For example, a manager part that is overly critical might believe it is helping by keeping the person focused and on track. A firefighter part that engages in substance abuse might believe it is protecting the person from emotional pain.
In IFS, the therapist helps the individual understand the positive intent behind each part’s actions and supports the parts in finding healthier ways to fulfill these intentions. This compassionate perspective fosters self-acceptance and promotes healing.
4. Healing Through Integration
The ultimate goal of IFS is not to eliminate parts but to integrate them in a way that allows for greater internal harmony. This involves unburdening the parts of their extreme roles and helping them adopt healthier, more balanced functions. The Self, as the central guiding force, plays a key role in facilitating this integration.
The Therapeutic Process in IFS
1. Identifying Parts
The first step in IFS therapy is to help the client identify the different parts within themselves and notice when parts are activated. These parts can emerge in a variety of ways, such as through thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, or behaviours. The therapist will encourage the client to become curious about their inner world, observing and naming the different parts as they arise.
2. Building a Relationship with the Parts
Once the parts are identified, the therapist helps the client establish a compassionate and nonjudgmental relationship with them. This process often involves accessing curiosity for the parts and learning about their positive intentions. Through this relationship, the client can begin to gain insight into how their parts operate and influence their behaviour.
3. Accessing the Self
A crucial part of IFS therapy is helping the client access their Self, which can serve as the calm, wise, and compassionate leader of the internal system. The Self is viewed as the healing force in the process, and it has the ability to help the parts heal and integrate.
Through mindfulness and guided exercises, the therapist helps the client strengthen their connection to their Self, allowing them to become more present, centred, and compassionate. This connection enables the client to approach their parts with understanding and empathy rather than judgment.
4. Unburdening Exiles
One of the most powerful aspects of IFS is the concept of "unburdening" parts that are carrying emotional pain or trauma. Once protective parts (managers and firefighters) trust that it's safe, the therapist guides the client to connect with exiled parts. This process involves:
Witnessing the exile's story and pain
Offering compassion and understanding from the Self
Retrieving the exile from traumatic scenarios
Removing burdens (limiting beliefs, painful emotions) the exile carries
Giving the exile what it needed but didn't receive at the time of wounding
This process can be profound and deeply healing, as the parts are freed from the limiting beliefs and emotional pain that have held them back. In turn, the individual experiences greater emotional freedom, balance, and self-acceptance.
5. Transforming Protective Parts
As exiles are unburdened, protective parts can transform. No longer needing to protect with the same intensity, managers and firefighters can assume new, healthier roles in the system. For instance:
A controlling manager might transform into a helpful organizer
An angry protector might become an appropriate boundary-setter
A numbing firefighter might discover healthier ways to provide comfort
6. Self-Leadership
The ultimate goal of IFS is establishing Self-leadership, where the client's Self takes its natural role as the compassionate leader of their internal system. From this place, a person can:
Navigate life's challenges with balance and wisdom
Make decisions that honour all parts
Respond to triggers with awareness and clarity rather than reactivity
Experience wholeness and integration
Real-World Applications of IFS
Trauma Healing
IFS offers a gentle yet powerful approach to trauma, allowing clients to access traumatic material without becoming overwhelmed. By separating the person's Self from parts that carry the trauma, clients can witness and heal trauma without retraumatization.
Depression and Anxiety
For those struggling with depression or anxiety, IFS helps identify the parts carrying these emotional states and the protective parts trying to manage them. Understanding that depression or anxiety is not the entirety of who they are helps clients regain a sense of agency.
Addiction Recovery
IFS views addictive behaviours as the work of firefighter parts trying to manage emotional pain. By addressing the underlying emotional wounds and developing compassion for the protective function of addiction, sustainable recovery becomes possible.
Relationship Issues
Our parts often interact with our partners' parts, creating complex relational dynamics. IFS therapy helps couples identify when they're relating from protective parts versus their Self, leading to more authentic connection.
Eating Disorders
Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be a powerful tool in the treatment of eating disorders by addressing the underlying emotional and psychological dynamics that drive disordered eating behaviors. IFS helps individuals identify and understand the parts of themselves that may be engaging in behaviors like restriction, bingeing, or purging, often as coping mechanisms for deeper issues such as trauma, shame, or feelings of unworthiness. Through IFS, these parts can be unburdened from their extreme roles, allowing the person to develop healthier ways of relating to food, their body, and themselves, ultimately promoting emotional healing and self-compassion in the recovery process.
The Unique Benefits of IFS
Non-Pathologizing
Unlike approaches that view symptoms as pathology, IFS sees symptoms as adaptive attempts to protect the system. This perspective reduces shame and increases self-compassion.
Direct Access to Self
IFS offers concrete methods to help clients access their Self-energy, which provides an immediate resource for healing even in the midst of distress.
Prevent Feelings of Overwhelm
The IFS process allows clients to work with traumatic material while maintaining emotional regulation by keeping the Self separate from but connected to the wounded parts.
Integration with Other Modalities
IFS integrates well with other therapeutic approaches, including cognitive-behavioural therapy, somatic therapies, and mindfulness practices.
The Growing Evidence Base
IFS is considered an evidence-based therapy, with growing research supporting its effectiveness for various mental health concerns. While it may not have as extensive a body of research as more traditional therapeutic models, numerous studies and clinical trials have shown promising results in using IFS for a range of issues such as trauma, anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and relationship challenges.
Studies have demonstrated that IFS can lead to reductions in symptoms of trauma and emotional distress, as well as improvements in self-esteem and emotional regulation. There have been qualitative studies and case reports that highlight the transformative effects of IFS on individuals’ psychological well-being. As more research is conducted, the evidence base for IFS continues to strengthen, and many therapists find it to be a highly effective and integrative approach.
Practicing IFS in Daily Life
Even outside formal therapy, individuals can begin to incorporate IFS principles:
Noticing Parts
Start by simply noticing when different "parts" of you are activated. You might notice thoughts like "part of me wants to speak up, but another part is afraid."
Cultivating Curiosity
Rather than judging parts as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Ask what they're trying to do for you or what they're afraid would happen if they didn't do their job.
Self-to-Part Relationships
Practice relating to your parts from a compassionate place. For example, if an anxious part is activated, you might acknowledge, "I see you're trying to keep me safe. Thank you for that concern."
Parts Journaling
Writing dialogues between your Self and various parts can enhance awareness and facilitate internal communication.
Conclusion
Internal Family Systems therapy offers a revolutionary framework for understanding and healing the mind. By recognizing our internal multiplicity and learning to lead from Self, we can transform our relationship with our most challenging emotions and behaviours.
The beauty of IFS lies in its compassionate perspective—there are no bad parts, only parts carrying burdens or trying to protect. Through the IFS journey, clients discover that even their most troubling symptoms began as attempts to help, and with unburdening, their entire internal system can transform toward greater harmony and wholeness.
As IFS continues to gain recognition in the therapeutic community, its applications continue to expand, offering hope and healing for a wide range of psychological challenges. Whether engaged in formal therapy or simply applying its principles in daily life, the IFS perspective offers a profound path to greater self-understanding, self-compassion, and authentic living.
Two of our therapists offer IFS therapy at our Burnaby, BC office and online.